Gecko Fabric Art: 2018

Tuesday, 6 March 2018

Why we should stop saying "mums are like buttons."

The first thing I ever remember buying for my mum when I was a little girl was a fridge magnet that said "if mothers were flowers I'd pick you." I thought it was a lovely thing to say to my mum, as she was the best mum ever and if I could choose from all the flowers in the whole world, I'd still go and pick her all over again.

Over the years, I've realised that it's a very over-used saying, that it's rather trite and a bit of a cliché. But at the time, it meant something to me (and I hope it meant something to my mum).

At the moment, there are a ton of Mother's Day gifts on display everywhere, with lots of similar sentiments. But the one that really bugs me is the one that says "mums are like buttons - they hold everything together."

Now, I don't have anything against buttons. I don't suffer from koumpounophobia (the fear of buttons: yes it is a real thing; yes I do know someone who has it; no it's not me).

Buttons are very useful things - they're functional, sometimes nicely decorated, and full of holes. And while those are all good things for buttons to be, if anyone said any of those things about me, I'd be pretty annoyed. A button is not a particularly good thing to be compared with.

And yes, I know, you're not supposed to take it that literally. It's a metaphor, about how good mums are at holding things together.

But you know what? Mums do a lot of things. Mums are a lot of things. And of all the things that mums do and that mums are, "holding stuff together" is not the one I'd pick to be complimented on - never mind having it on a plaque to put on display and have to see every day.

Mums can be loving.

Mums can be kind.

Mums can be silly.

Mums can be funny.

Mums can be tough.

Mums can be selfless.

Mums can have a career.

Mums can have a vocation.

Mums can run a business from home.

Mums can give up their dreams for their kids.

Mums can live their dreams through their kids.

Mums are teachers.

Mums are nurturers.

Mums are agony aunts.

Mums are nurses.

Mums are taxi drivers.

Mums are friends.

Mums are amazing.

Mums are....

I could go on and on. Mums are a lot of things. Is the one message you want to send to your mum on Mother's Day really "you're good at organising stuff"?

And is this what we're reducing motherhood to? Never mind that mums are people with their own lives, dreams and ambitions. Never mind that dads can play just as key roles in the running of the family and the household. Never mind that it's reinforcing the stereotype that mums belong in the home.

I think we're so used to seeing these sayings everywhere we look that we've stopped thinking about what they mean. "Aw that's sweet" we think, because it looks pretty on a plaque, especially if there are buttons making a pretty pattern next to it. But comparing mums to buttons is surely ludicrous. It's patronising to suggest that a mum's life, purpose and being can be reduced to a functional (if sometimes pretty) little item like a button.

Aren't our mums much, much more than that? Don't they deserve something a little more heartfelt, more personal? Shouldn't we find something, ANYthing more respectful to say than "you remind me of a button"?

So please, this Mother's Day, think of something nicer to say to your mum.

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My business, Gecko Fabric Art, offers a range of beautifully made quilted items which can be customised to your requirements with bespoke appliqué designs. Mug rugs, notebook covers, wall hangings, cushions, Kindle cases, make up bags and more, each made from scratch just for you with a design created just for you. I'm always delighted to discuss custom creations, so please do get in touch if there are any gifts you need help with!

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jenny@GeckoFabricArt.co.uk

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Tuesday, 6 February 2018

Who is the quilting cowboy?

I was brainstorming ideas for a blog on a quilting theme, when I came across a website that tells you the top couple of hundred Google search terms based on any keyword you submit. I typed in the word “quilting” and then reviewed the results. Most of them were what you'd expect – largely concerned with how to quilt or what to quilt with – nothing unusual or particularly exciting from my perspective of wanting to write a blog about quilting, for an audience of primarily non-quilters.

But then the following question caught my eye: who is the quilting cowboy?

Now, obviously, I could have googled this myself and discovered who the quilting cowboy is. But I decided not to, because I thought the truth probably wouldn't be as exciting as my imaginings. And then I thought that maybe this is what my blog should be: finding odd Google search terms involving quilting, and provide my own answers (which obviously won't be strictly accurate, but I'm willing to sacrifice truth for the sake of humour. Now I just need to find some funny things to write about... 😂)

So here is my top ten of people's genuine weird quilting search terms, and my responses to them.

1. Who is the quilting cowboy?

He is a real, actual cowboy, who likes to dress in a leather waistcoat and chaps, complete with hat (though no shirt, obvs 😉). He sits astride a horse with a patchwork blanket on the saddle; a lasso in one hand and a needle and thread in the other; galloping off into the sunset with a cloud of dust billowing out behind him... … and... um … huh? What? Sorry, I got a bit distracted there. His name is Dave. Or maybe Barry.

2. Quilting limericks

I’m not great at limericks, but here goes:

There was a young woman who quilted

All day and all night till she wilted

She sewed all her clothes

From her head to her toes

And she never went skirted but kilted.

And here’s another:

When sewing you first must begin

To prepare to end up with a win

But once your needle's been bent

And your fabric's all rent

I'd advise you to head for the gin.

(Well, I had to get gin in somewhere, didn’t I?! 😂)

3. Quilting cruises

Hell yeah, where do I sign up?! 😍

4. Quilting at the beach

Hell no, think of all that sand getting in my sewing machine!! 😱

5. Quilting gnome

I don't know what this is, but I want one. 😁

6. Quilting jetgirl

Now this sounds like my sort of superhero! Quilting while soaring through the air with a cape billowing out behind her. (Though, actually, as one of my heroes once said, “no capes, darling.” It'd get caught in the jetpack. Much safer to go capeless.)

7. Quilting mayhem

I'm imagining a cross between the Great British Sewing Bee and a soft play centre. I hope nobody loses a needle in the ball pool! 🙈

8. Quilting nook

I have a gin nook, will that do? 😀🍸

(Yes, I did mention gin again. What can I say? I like gin!)

9. Quilting party

You bring the quilts, I'll bring the gin. Mmmm, quilts. Mmmmm gin! 😍

(I think I’m getting distinctly sidetracked by gin… Maybe I should have written this sober! 😉😂)

10. Quilting queerly

I think I'm back with the quilting cowboys again, Brokeback Mountain style... 😂 (I'm genuinely quite intrigued by this, is there a particularly queer way to quilt?! I might have to actually google this one to find out!)

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And that, dear friends, concludes my meanderings through the weirdness and wonderfulness of the quilting terms people have searched for on Google. But now that I've found myself a new hobby, I'm off to put in some different search terms and find some new weird and wonderful questions people have asked the internet! 😂

If you want to have a go yourself, the site I used was:
www.answerthepublic.com

And if you really want to know about the quilting cowboy, I did eventually look him up. He's called Dale. And he wears a cowboy hat. So you know, I was pretty close...

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jenny@GeckoFabricArt.co.uk

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Monday, 8 January 2018

A post in defence of Facebook

I've seen a lot of Facebook-bashing posts from small business owners recently, and I thought I'd add my tuppence-worth.

If we'd set up home-based businesses twenty years ago, we'd have had to put a card in the post office, or do a leaflet drop, or take out an ad in the local paper. Now, we can reach hundreds of millions of people across the world FOR FREE from the comfort of our living rooms. Which I think you have to agree is a pretty amazing thing!

But Facebook wasn't created to help small businesses promote themselves. It was created as a social network. People use Facebook to check up on friends, chat to people and lol at cats (or whatever the latest meme happens to be – I realise I'm about 15 years out of date with my lolcatz reference...) People primarily don't come on Facebook to shop, so it isn't geared towards helping you sell your wares. If you just want a marketplace to sell your items, go to Etsy. Facebook is about you connecting with your followers socially, and developing a relationship with them.

“Facebook is hiding my posts.” There are currently 2 billion people using Facebook. There has to be an algorithm used so that we're not bombarded with useless posts. People don't come on Facebook to shop, they come on to socialise, so any post that looks like a sales post will be penalised by the Facebook algorithm – because it's not what people want to see. To beat the Facebook algorithm, you have to post stuff that is interesting to your followers.

Facebook cannot show you posts from every person you're friends with and every page you've clicked “like” on – there's simply too much content. One way Facebook determines if you want to see content from a particular source is how often you interact with that source – i.e. if you like or comment on their posts. So if you want your followers to see your posts, you have to write posts that they want to like or comment on. (But please don't beg for interactions, that just makes you look desperate...) Then Facebook will realise that those people want to see your posts and will continue to show them.

“Facebook just wants us to pay for ads.” Well, maybe they do, they are a business after all. Businesses need to generate income somehow, and as they offer an amazing platform for free, they do rely on businesses placing ads for their revenue. This does not make them evil. This makes them a business. You don't work for free and neither should Facebook. Get over it.

As a business, you shouldn't be afraid of spending money on marketing yourself. If you know how Facebook works, and you have lots of time to spend networking and promoting yourself, yes you can do a lot for free. But advertising does work (otherwise the commercial breaks on TV would be a lot shorter!) and you have to pay for it. Paying to promote your business does not make you a mug, it makes you a business. Just make sure you target it properly so you're not wasting your money.

So in conclusion, yes Facebook can be annoying at times, yes it has glitches that should be fixed and yes sometimes the automated spam filters etc are over-zealous and punish you unfairly. But instead of spending your energy complaining about it, spend some time understanding how Facebook works so you can navigate it safely and effectively for your business. And say a little thank you every now and then, and be grateful for what it enables you to do.

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jenny@GeckoFabricArt.co.uk

Stop calling women "mumpreneurs!"

(I wrote this a couple of years ago so the ages of my kids have changed, but I still feel the message just as strongly now as I did then!)

This morning I was helping Little Gecko No.1 build her lego rocketship that she got for her birthday. As a feminist, I was pleased to note that (a) she was just as excited about building a rocketship as she had been last year about building a princess castle, and (b) that there was both a male and a female astronaut included in the lego set. However, when it came to the spanner in the set (of which there was only one), I was horrified to hear her say: "Which one is the boy astronaut? He has to have the spanner because girls don't use spanners."

This triggered a long monologue from me about how girls are just as capable of using spanners as boys are, tools aren't just for boys, and there's no reason in the world why a girl shouldn't use a spanner just as much as a boy does. She responded with "well I've never seen a girl builder," and as far as she is concerned, that seemed to trump all my arguments.

Which makes me very sad. We live in a society where, although things are much better than they used to be, children grow up seeing that "boys do this, and girls do that" and it shapes their beliefs, attitudes and expectations. It saddens me that boys are brought up believing they can be engineers, astronauts, firemen, surgeons, businessmen; and girls are brought up believing they should be nurses, hairdressers and secretaries. Not that there is anything wrong with being a nurse, hairdresser or secretary - but girls shouldn't be limited to think that they can only do those jobs.

I've had my eldest, at the age of 6, say that she doesn't like maths any more because "girls aren't good at maths." This is despite her being brilliant at maths and her mum (i.e. me!) having gotten a degree in maths. It upsets me that even at this early age, her expectations on what she is able to achieve are being limited because she's a girl. We need to be building up our little girls' expectations, making sure they know there aren't any limits on their dreams and ambitions, and teaching them to reach for the skies.

So I would encourage you, please, if you have children (boys or girls) to teach them that girls are just as capable as boys, and that their ambitions should be based on what they truly want to do, not what society says they should do based on their gender.

I find there is also a lot of insidious sexism in the grown up world too. Sometimes it's the things that are supposedly helping women that are actually reinforcing the notion that women are not as good as men. One example is the invention of the word "mumpreneur" to describe a mum who starts her own business. But to me, by having a distinction between an entrepreneur who is a mum and an entrepreneur who isn't, it reinforces the divide and somehow makes the mum seem less capable and less worthy of the term entrepreneur. There is no separate term for dads who are entrepreneurs - it would be ridiculous to suggest that there needs to be a special category to denote male entrepreneurs who are fathers and those who aren't. So why are we so accepting of it when it applies to women? (And don't even get me started on the way the media spend their time evaluating the outfits of female MPs, instead of focussing on what they're talking about!)

And I'll finish with this little story, which I love, about the young woman who tweeted Emma Watson and said "I really want to become an engineer but my dad doesn't think girls should be engineers. What can I say to change his mind?" (I'm paraphrasing. I may have gone over the 140 character tweet limit there, I'm not sure!) And Emma Watson replied: "Become an engineer."

We won't change the world by talking about doing things. We'll change the world by getting out there and actually doing the things. So my thought for the day is, to think about what it is you want to do but feel that you're not able to. And just go ahead and do it.

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jenny@GeckoFabricArt.co.uk