(I wrote this a couple of years ago so the ages of my kids have changed, but I still feel the message just as strongly now as I did then!)
This morning I was helping Little Gecko No.1 build her lego rocketship that she got for her birthday. As a feminist, I was pleased to note that (a) she was just as excited about building a rocketship as she had been last year about building a princess castle, and (b) that there was both a male and a female astronaut included in the lego set. However, when it came to the spanner in the set (of which there was only one), I was horrified to hear her say: "Which one is the boy astronaut? He has to have the spanner because girls don't use spanners."
This triggered a long monologue from me about how girls are just as capable of using spanners as boys are, tools aren't just for boys, and there's no reason in the world why a girl shouldn't use a spanner just as much as a boy does. She responded with "well I've never seen a girl builder," and as far as she is concerned, that seemed to trump all my arguments.
Which makes me very sad. We live in a society where, although things are much better than they used to be, children grow up seeing that "boys do this, and girls do that" and it shapes their beliefs, attitudes and expectations. It saddens me that boys are brought up believing they can be engineers, astronauts, firemen, surgeons, businessmen; and girls are brought up believing they should be nurses, hairdressers and secretaries. Not that there is anything wrong with being a nurse, hairdresser or secretary - but girls shouldn't be limited to think that they can only do those jobs.
I've had my eldest, at the age of 6, say that she doesn't like maths any more because "girls aren't good at maths." This is despite her being brilliant at maths and her mum (i.e. me!) having gotten a degree in maths. It upsets me that even at this early age, her expectations on what she is able to achieve are being limited because she's a girl. We need to be building up our little girls' expectations, making sure they know there aren't any limits on their dreams and ambitions, and teaching them to reach for the skies.
So I would encourage you, please, if you have children (boys or girls) to teach them that girls are just as capable as boys, and that their ambitions should be based on what they truly want to do, not what society says they should do based on their gender.
I find there is also a lot of insidious sexism in the grown up world too. Sometimes it's the things that are supposedly helping women that are actually reinforcing the notion that women are not as good as men. One example is the invention of the word "mumpreneur" to describe a mum who starts her own business. But to me, by having a distinction between an entrepreneur who is a mum and an entrepreneur who isn't, it reinforces the divide and somehow makes the mum seem less capable and less worthy of the term entrepreneur. There is no separate term for dads who are entrepreneurs - it would be ridiculous to suggest that there needs to be a special category to denote male entrepreneurs who are fathers and those who aren't. So why are we so accepting of it when it applies to women? (And don't even get me started on the way the media spend their time evaluating the outfits of female MPs, instead of focussing on what they're talking about!)
And I'll finish with this little story, which I love, about the young woman who tweeted Emma Watson and said "I really want to become an engineer but my dad doesn't think girls should be engineers. What can I say to change his mind?" (I'm paraphrasing. I may have gone over the 140 character tweet limit there, I'm not sure!) And Emma Watson replied: "Become an engineer."
We won't change the world by talking about doing things. We'll change the world by getting out there and actually doing the things. So my thought for the day is, to think about what it is you want to do but feel that you're not able to. And just go ahead and do it.
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My business, Gecko Fabric Art, offers a range of beautifully made quilted items which can be customised to your requirements with bespoke appliqué designs. Mug rugs, notebook covers, wall hangings, cushions, Kindle cases, make up bags and more, each made from scratch just for you with a design created just for you. I'm always delighted to discuss custom creations, so please do get in touch if there are any gifts you need help with!
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jenny@GeckoFabricArt.co.uk
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